Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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