There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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