went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
