singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize