I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
