i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
