Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Randomize
