it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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