Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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