It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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