Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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