Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
