I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
its not stalking. its research.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
