Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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