Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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