how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
