what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
