You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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