we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize