Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
