I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
