Porn is love you can see.
Come see our sink grown plant.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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