FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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