so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
