It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
it's like heaven, but drunker
As shirtless as possible
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
