When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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