Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
