how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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