Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
he shaved USA in his pubs
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
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