Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
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All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
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I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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