He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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