At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more