I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..