he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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