as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
