shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
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