I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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