i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
