well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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