ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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