"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
