My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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