The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
