I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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