I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
