do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
