ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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