I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
