I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
