I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
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We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
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I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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