so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
