are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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