Joe is yelling at the trees again.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
