you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
where does the pee come out of this thing
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Can I color on your dick again?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Randomize
