We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
