so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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