So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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