If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You pole danced in your parka.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
