let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
