I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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