We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
there is glitter all over my balls
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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