Will you blow on my dice?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
My breath smells like gin and sadness
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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