I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
please come you make the beer taste better
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
