She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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