I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Alive.
So much puke
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
