We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
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Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
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I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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