I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
