put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
