I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You dont lie about slip and slides
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
