"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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