he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
