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All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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