I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I have post one night stand depression
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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